Prevention Education in Vacaville, California: Simulator Doll

The Vacaville Reporter brings news of a prevention effort in California.

Recognize the motivation, but have to wonder about how likely this prevention technique would have been in preventing the case that gave rise to the initiative (although, since the article doesn't say how the person charged and the baby are related, or if they are...).

Would the target audiences have included him?  Can't tell, but one wonders how many 42 year old men would opt to be in the audience at the places they intend to offer the demonstration.

Nor can one tell whether this is The Strategy, or merely one part of a comprehensive strategy that uses hospital based education for new parents, school based parenting education for students and baby-sitters and mandatory education for child care providers to teach parents and caregivers how they can help keep children in their care safe from inflicted injuries.

Let's hope the latter.


A broad, comprehensive, non-selective, inclusive campaign that educates all parents and all caregivers about what they can do to keep children safe, using a message that minimizes pushback, is more likely to be shared, and more likely to be self-sustaining.

It would be useful to others looking for evidence-based programs if the reporter checks back in a year to see what's actually been accomplished.

Sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas, a fairly large amount of new exercise equipment is purchased.  Sometime the following spring, spring cleaning moves a large amount of unused exercise equipment from garages and basements to yard sales and the like.

Prevention resources being scarce, no one wants to see them recycled that way...

The goal: No more Shaken Baby Syndrome cases in Solano County 

By Catherine Bowen/ CBowen@TheReporter.comPosted:   11/24/2012 01:08:26 AM PST 

A shake and the crying stopped.

On Sept. 16, a 5-month-old Fairfield baby was hospitalized with brain bleeding, said Fairfield police Sgt. Kevin Carella. The baby's head had started swelling, before arriving at the hospital and medical staff immediately recognized the symptoms.

A short time later, 42-year-old Kenneth Burroughs was arrested by Fairfield police on suspicion of child abuse causing great bodily injury, Carella said. The baby remains in the hospital.

An estimated 1,200 to 1,400 babies are treated for Shaken Baby Syndrome (SBS), a term used to describe child abuse caused by the vigorous shaking of an infant -- often in anger -- to get the child to stop crying or fussing, each year, according to the California Department of Social Services. Of that number, 25 to 30 percent die as a result of their injuries, and many others suffer lifelong complications.

Authorities suspect many more children also fall victim to SBS but do not receive treatment.

The severity of September's case rocked Fairfield authorities, and launched them into an outreach mission to educate others on just how devastating the effects of SBS can be, according to Carella, who works with both the department's Major Crimes and Family Violence units. 

To bring their demonstration home, the department purchased a RealCare shaken baby doll simulator, while a second doll was donated by the Twilight Rotary Service Club.
Each of the life-sized dolls is fitted with a see-through plastic head, Carella explained. The RealCare Shaken Baby cries inconsolably, like some real infants do and, when the doll is shaken a device inside its head measures the force on the brain area. The simulator's cries stop abruptly and red LED lights show the specific parts of the brain that suffer damage.

Carella said it is the department's hope to provide training at Solano Community College, local high schools, service clubs and other law enforcement agencies for future parents, babysitters and child care providers.
"Our hope is to demonstrate to people how little force it takes to injure a child," Carella said.
"It is our goal to reduce the number of SBS incidents in Fairfield and our surrounding communities with this valuable instruction," Carella stated. 

The training is comprised of specific instruction on topics including:
* The many reasons babies cry and helpful ways to soothe them,
* Signs and symptoms of SBS,
* Physical results of SBS-related brain injuries, and
* A pledge to never shake a baby.
For more information, or to schedule a demonstration contact Carella at 428-7354 or Debra Shibuya with the Fairfield Family Violence Unit at 428-7770.
Follow Staff Writer Catherine Bowen at Twitter.com/cbowen4.

Resources: 2011 SBS/AHT Conference NYC

The Queens District Attorney's Office sponsored the 2011 Conference on AHT/SBS, as it's now denominated in medical and legal circles, last month, and it was an interesting conference indeed.

There was several excellent presentations on medical and legal issues, including Mark Dias and Carole Jenney.

There was also an excellent overview and analysis of the literature cited in support of the shaken baby "controversy" by Chris Greeley, a professor of pediatrics at the University of Texas. Link

One of the best things about this presentation was that, in the best tradition of science, it actually explored the strength of the scientific literature that is cited in support of the contention that there is a "controversy" in the medical community about the scientific basis of Shaken Baby Syndrome.

Summed up, his basic teaching point is that the "evidence" of controversy is drawn from scientific papers that are paraphrased by advocates: to know whether the cited science supports the contention, and, if so, how strongly, "you got to read the paper."

Examined objectively, it seems pretty clear that the claims exceed the evidence.

The Conference materials are available at the DA's site for a limited time and can be downloaded. Link

While I applaud the organizers for setting a session to discuss the "controversy", and Drs. Squier and Uscinski for their appearance to discuss it, I felt the formality of the panel made the discussion rather tepid. It certainly was less spirited that, say, Jerry Springer.

Unfortunately, the precaution of formal rules proved to be necessary: towards the end of the panel discussion, Uscinki read a letter from a person who thanked Uscinski for the testimony at his trial that helped get him acquitted of charges, then announced that the person was in the audience and wanted to address the Conference, presumably to say that not all innocent people are lucky enough to have an expert like Dr. Uscinki. The offer was declined.

I do have to say that I was disappointed by Emily Bazelon. She is the author of the article on SBS convictions in the New York Times Sunday Magazine earlier this year. She did not explain her article very well, and confessed to a superficial knowledge of the science. At the end, I was left with the impression that she did census research: talked to a lot of people about shaken baby syndrome and tallied up how many of those people told her the science was incomplete.

It was also disappointing that she never delved into the inconsistency between 1200-1600 reported reported cases of inflicted head trauma a year and her estimate that there are only 200 prosecutions a year. Unless she was excluding cases with pleas from the count, that means only 1 of every 6 reported cases involving children with inflicted injuries is prosecuted.

That is not such a good record.

The presentations are available at: http://www.queensda.org/SBS_Conference/2011_SBS_Conf.pdf

They're all worthy reviewing, but I would recommend Mark Dias' presentation on controversies and conspiracy theories in abusive head trauma: Link
http://www.queensda.org/SBS_Conference/Controversies%20and%20conspiracy%20theories%20in%20AHT%20NY%20Sept%202011.pdf

New Mexico: SBS Prevention Project

University of New Mexico Hospitals has a SBS prevention program...link

It's alway interesting to see the range of languages at different site - here, Navjaho and Vietnamese.

Link to program description...

UNMH is helping new parents identify and prevent shaking injuries and understand how to respond when infants cry. Our program is a duplication of an educational study conduced by Dr. Mark Dias. From 1998 to 2004, Mark Dias, MD, FAAP and colleagues implemented a hospital-based, parent educational program in upstate New York to teach new parents about the dangers of infant shaking.

The goals of the program are (1) to provide educational materials about SBS to the parents of newborn infants, (2) to assess parents' comprehension of the dangers of violent infant shaking, (3) to track penetration of the program through the collection of returned commitment statements (CS), and (4) to evaluate the program's affect on the regional incidence of SBS.

This UNMH SBS prevention program will be administered to all parents of newborn infants prior to discharge from the hospital. Nurses will provide parents with the following materials: 1) a one-page English, Spanish, Vietnamese, or Navajo leaflet about preventing SBS, and 2) to view a 11-minute video called Portrait of Promise: Preventing Shaken Baby Syndrome. The 11-minute video, Portrait of Promise: Preventing Shaken Baby Syndrome featured 3 families whose lives were affected by SBS and a message from Carolyn Levitt, a nationally recognized child abuse specialist, who addressed the effects of violent shaking and the potentials of prevention.

Posters were placed in the maternity wards and both parents were asked to voluntarily sign a commitment statement (CS) confirming their receipt and understanding of the materials. Program compliance will be assessed by the number of signed CSs and comprehension of the materials as assessed by a 7 month follow-up telephone survey.

Data collection began June 2010 and will continue indefinitely. This pilot should replicate the results of the original New York study. We have begun the process of collecting SBS ICD-9 codes within the hospital to determine the baseline incidence of SBS for children born in the hospital. Our eventual goal will be to collect the data statewide.

El síndrome del bebé sacudido: Lost in Translation?

It's been almost six years since an inflicted head injury was reported in Dutchess County.

That string of good fortune is over.

Two weeks ago, an undocumented immigrant is alleged to have inflicted fatal head injuries on a four year old girl. He's Mexican, and the question has come up about educating the Hispanic/Latino community.

It's been on my mind before this. Last year, there was a spate of news reports of shaking or inflicted head injuries around New York City that involved people with Hispanic surnames.

In part, the question is whether the hospital-based education programs are being effectively implemented to reach new parents who are Hispanic. In part, the question is whether the education programs and materials are culturally competent.

As far as I know, all of the prevention videos are offered in Spanish. However, they're dubbed.

Anyone know if there is a prevention video that uses Spanish-speaking individuals?

If so, is it effective? Any thoughts on whether the dubbed Spanish versions of the English language videos are good enough?

UPDATE: Children's Hospital of Phoenix has done a video - and it's available on YouTube

Take a look and see what you think...

Good news about a local prevention effort in Flint, Michigan...

Hurley doctor starts effort to combat Shaken Baby Syndrome
by Elizabeth Shaw | The Flint Journal
Tuesday December 09, 2008, 5:52 PM

FLINT, Michigan -- It was only 10 seconds.

In October, police testified in Genesee County Circuit Court that Paul D. Powell II, 17, shook his 8-month-old daughter Takyra Rene Banks "for a period of about 10 seconds" because she would not stop crying. Powell is now awaiting trial for murder and first-degree child abuse in the July 17th death.

It's something Hurley Pediatric Chief Resident Dr. Faisal Mawri has seen too often -- and never wants to see again.
Flint Journal extras For tips on soothing an unhappy baby:

• www.thehappiestbaby.com.

What to do with a crying baby:

• Make sure all the baby's needs have been met and there is no physical or medical cause that requires attention.
• Put the baby in a safe place (crib, bassinet or play pen) and leave the room for a few minutes to calm down.
• Take several deep breaths and count to 10.
• Say the alphabet out loud, read a poem or close your eyes and think of something pleasant.
• Do housework or another task to distract your attention.
• Create a noise to get the baby's attention such as a blender or vacuum cleaner.
• Hug and cuddle the baby. Wrap the infant in a blanket and carry him or her around.
• Call someone to ask for help.

Source: Genesee County Health Department

"I went into pediatrics because I love children. It is very difficult to see a baby fighting for its life with a tube in its throat, trying to breathe, and to know it was caused in an instant when a mother or father was simply upset because the baby won't stop crying," said Mawri. "What has surprised me in talking to parents here is how many do not know that shaking a baby could cause these fatalities."

Mawri hopes to change that with a $3,000 grant he received from the American Academy of Pediatrics' Community Access to Child Health to launch "Never Shake Your Baby.

It's a good thing Dr. Mawri is doing. I just wish there was more collaboration among advocates, so we could all work more efficiently and effectively. There is a peculiar tendency among advocates to reinvent wheels.

For example, there is a regional SBS prevention coordinated by DeVos Children's Hospital. And in Saginaw, the Child Abuse Council is using Baby Think It Over dolls (OK, infant simulators) to increase awareness.

It's a big world, with lots of parents to educate. Let's collaborate...

And I just have to say that there doesn't seem to be a compelling need to spend money develop a new prevention video. Let's hope that part of the plan got transmogrified by the reporter.

Good post by Rick at Dadsworld on the need for patience when raising young children, and the importance of SBBS prevention and the PURPLE program (just as one example, Columbus Hosital's page describes PURPLE and not only provides some useful tips for babies, but about coping with post partum depression - PPD is not only a problem that affects 5 - 15% of mothers, but it increases stress for the entire family).

I offered the following comments:

As the father of an eleven month old boy wo died when he was shaken by his child care provider (a 51 year old grandmother, who was also caring for her two year old grandson that day), I'd like to thank you for this post.
It brings attention to the important role many - not all - hospitals are now playing in teaching new parents about the vulnerability of young children to head injuries, and the need to a coping plan for prepare for the inevitable moments of frustration.
Most importantly, it's an opportunity for parents to help protect their child.
In addition to learning that lesson themselves, new parents have to learn how to effectively educate others.
These days, the majority of children have another caregiver - sometimes a licensed child care provider, sometimes an "in home" provider, sometimes a relative.
A recent study on inflicted injuries in child care settings found that injuries were rare overall, but much more likely "in home" settings - which typically have one person - than in centers.
In any setting, inexperienced caregivers are a significant risk, especially with babies who have colic or "difficult" children.
They need education, and they need to know that it's OK to call you.
But as we learned, it's not just "inexperienced" cargivers.
It's important that you educate all caregivers (and not just about SBS - for babies and infants, SIDS risk reduction is also important).
It's also important to help them understand what "to do" to help calm your child, not just what "not to do."
PS. In most states, even licensed child care providers are not required to be educated about SBS, and at best babysitter classes typically have nothing more than an allusion in the training materials to telling students shaking babies is dangerous.
In addition to www.dontshake.com
I'd suggest parents visit www.copetocare.com
Beliefs on colic seems to have many of the same characteristics as religious beliefs, but this is an interesting article on colic and oofers some tips for parents coping with a baby who has colicky crying (especially about the importance of sharing the experience wit others)
Other resources are linked on our site:
www.skippervigil.com

The Wall Street Journal had an interesting article [11/19/08 - requires subscription] about collaboration between Proctor & Gamble and Google.

One has enormous success selling ads and one has an enormous budget to buy ads, and together they're exploring better ways to reach consumers online.

One eye opener for those offering prevention messages - the eyeballs are spending more time on line:

Consumers ages 18 to 27 say they use the Internet nearly 13 hours a week, compared to viewing 10 hours of TV, according to market-data firm Forrester Research Inc. But currently, P&G -- so famously thorough at understanding consumers, it even tracks people's tooth-brushing strokes -- spends only a sliver of its ad budget online.

And there are significant differences between the media:

The rapid spread of high-speed Internet access "has been the biggest disruption to marketing," says Rob Norman, CEO of WPP Group's media-buying firm, GroupM Interaction Worldwide. A key factor, he argues: TV-watchers are passive viewers. But Internet-surfers are tougher to reach because they take a more active role in what they choose to view.

As the two companies started working together, the gulf between them quickly became apparent. In April, when actress Salma Hayek unveiled an ambitious promotion for P&G's Pampers brand, the Google team was stunned to learn that Pampers hadn't invited any "motherhood" bloggers -- women who run popular Web sites about child-rearing -- to attend the press conference.

"Where are the bloggers?" asked a Google staffer in disbelief, according one person present.

But the fundamental task common to both enterprises is surprisingly simple:

Google job-swappers have started adopting P&G's lingo. During a session on evaluating in-store displays, a P&G marketer described the company's standard method, known as "stop, hold, close": Product packaging first needs to "stop" a shopper, Mr. Lichtig said. "Hold" is a pause to read the label, and "close" is when a shopper puts the product in the cart.

Google's Ms. Chudy gasped. "This is just like our text ads," she said. The headline is the "stop," its description is the "hold" and the "close" is clicking through to the Web site.

"This is going to get so much easier, now that I'm learning their language," she said.

And that's the challenge for prevention marketing. Or phrased a bit differently, listen, hear and act.

We have a lot to learn about effective marketing from the likes of Google and Proctor & Gamble (whose marketing savvy includes not only the know how to market diapers, but razors too - BTW: why don't new parents leave the hospital with a baby bag that includes a disposable razor too), not to mention marketing icons like Seth Godin.

Just a note - an alert came my way about three new journal articles that discuss SBS, including one by the "Buffalo Girls" (as I fondly refer to the excellent nurse-coordinators of the Upstate NY SBS Prevention Project), and one that discusses educational strategies for SBS education....

Shaken baby syndrome: diagnosis and treatment.
A Reynolds - Radiol Technol 1 Nov 2008 80(2): p. 151.
http://highwire.stanford.edu/cgi/medline/pmid;19005097

Shaken baby syndrome education program: nurses making a difference.
KM Smith and KA deGuehery - MCN Am J Matern Child Nurs 1 Nov 2008 33(6): p. 371.
http://highwire.stanford.edu/cgi/medline/pmid;18997573

Testing educational strategies for Shaken Baby Syndrome.
M Bailey, T Gress, D Bolden, and L Pfitzer - W V Med J 1 Nov 2008 104(6): p. 22.
http://highwire.stanford.edu/cgi/medline/pmid;19006900

Mothergoosemouse posted about the changes that come with motherhood, anticipated or not.

She describes watching a shaken baby prevention video in hospital....

Before I had children of my own, I reacted to news of tragedies concerning children much differently. I was saddened, disturbed, sorry for the family - but it didn’t prey on my subconscious like it does now.

I can’t read the articles or listen to the news reports. I struggle with the blog posts,which are mercifully few and far between. Before being discharged from the
hospital with CJ, I was required to watch a video about shaken baby syndrome. I burst into tears afterward, and the visuals from the video stay with me even now. The “Never Shake a Baby” radio and TV ads cause me to change the channel. Even typing these words makes me well up.

This was my response....

I’m curious to know whether you think the hospital could have “framed” the
info in a way that would have changed your response.
We advocate for hospital based prevention education and encourage the nurses to present the information not as an obligation (”you should never shake your baby”) but as an opportunity (”this will help you learn about the causes of shaking injuries
so you can help protect your baby against injuries”).
It’s easier for the parents and for the educators. It’s easier for hospitals too: everyone benefits.
And it’s very important for parents to be able to educate - not just tell - all the other caregivers around their child (not just child care, but baby sitters, sibling, the neighbor who’s an emergency backup): shaking is dangerous to young children (up to 5 years old) and frustration is normal, so even good caregivers need to recognize when that response is getting out of hand and have a simple coping plan ready.
It can be as simple as putting the child in a safe place, catching your breathe and calling someone to vent for a few minutes. The first step can be hardest, especially for a parent: you have to acknowledge the stress…
And the best thing is that once a parent understands the importance of positively educating other caregivers, and accepts the role of educator, they reinforce their own knowledge and behavior.
It’s certainly scary to learn about something that could hurt your child which you
have no control over: it’s much better to learn about the danger and what
you can do to protect your child.
Eduation is effective. Hospitals in the Buffalo area of New York have been doing education since 1998: since they started, the rate of inflicted infant head injury has dropped by 50%.
So you may not be able to avoid thinking about the tragedies - there are more than most people realize - but I hope you will also take advantage of your opportunity to
share knowledge about preventing those injuries.

A book review in the New York Times points out some reasons why thinking we're safe can be unsafe....

Some of those "thinks" to keep in mind, whether designing community prevention initiatives or an individual, personalized prevention program for your child:

- we think we're more skilled than experience suggests;
- when routines allow us to think less about safety, we are distracted from anticipating stress events and less prepared to cope; and
- we think we - and other caregivers, like babysitters and child care providers - know what we need to know about the skills required to raise a child.

Assuming you're safe can be fatal. Assuming you "know" what any individual taking care of your child will or won't do can also have tragic consequences.

Nowadays, the cause of collisions, or one of them, is people believing they’re better drivers than they are. We base our judgment on the number of crashes we’ve been in, rather than on the number of accidents we narrowly avoid, which, if we’re being honest (or we’re being me), happen just about every time we drive.

Compounding this vehicular hubris is the fact that most of the driving we do appears to be safer than it is. Driving rarely commands 100 percent of our attention, and so we feel comfortable multitasking: talking on the phone, unfolding a map, taking in the Barca-Lounger on the road’s shoulder. Vanderbilt cites a statistic that nearly 80 percent of crashes involve drivers not paying attention for up to three seconds. Thus the places that seem the most dangerous — narrow roads, hairpin turns — are rarely where people mess up. “Most crashes,” Vanderbilt writes, “happen on dry roads, on clear, sunny days, to sober drivers.” For this reason, roads that could be straight are often constructed with curves — simply to keep drivers on the ball.

This basic truth — feeling safe kills — lies beneath many of the book’s insights. Americans think roundabouts are more dangerous than intersections with traffic lights. Roundabouts require you to adjust your speed, to merge, in short, to pay attention. At an intersection, we simply watch the light. And so we may not notice the red-light runner coming at us or the pedestrian stepping off the curb. A study that followed 24 intersections that had been converted from signals or stop signs to roundabouts showed an almost 90 percent drop in fatal crashes after the change.

For similar reasons, S.U.V.’s are more dangerous than cars. Not just because they’re slower to stop and harder to maneuver, but because — by conferring a sense of safety — they invite careless behavior. “The safer cars get,” Vanderbilt says, “the more risks drivers choose to take.” (S.U.V. drivers are more likely to not bother with their seat belts, to talk on cellphones, and to not wear seat belts while talking on cellphones.) So it goes for much of the driving universe. More people are killed while crossing in crosswalks than while jaywalking. Drivers pass bicyclists more closely on a road with bike lanes than on one without.

Some good words from a new father that show the value of hospital based education for new parents. Following that, a mother talks about colic and the feelings that follow ...

In the hospital they made us watch this really sad movie on shaken baby syndrome (Serene probably doesn't even remember it) and I thought how in the world could someone do that to their baby? I was shocked! Then, after about a week of 1.5 hour catnaps it all started to make sense how someone could lose control. I had to turn on the light sometimes just to make sure that the writhing object in my arms was in fact my baby and not a screaming banshee. I write with some hyperbole to emphasize the point but rest be assured that I never considered hurting my baby even during her most demonic frenzies.

Now, from The Mommy 'n Baby Page, an excellent perspective on what colic means to a mother...

Colic31st July 2008, 06:42 pm Some of us are lucky enough not to have to have a colicky baby, but others aren’t so blessed. My son was never diagnosed with colic, but often he would cry for hours each day, sometimes as many as four or five.

I can’t imagine having a baby who cries more then that, but there are some. My husband’s uncle would tell us stories of the two colicky babies that he and his wife raised. He would talk about two am drives to put the baby asleep and get some peace and quite.

Unfortunatly colic isn’t something we understand. We aren’t sure why some babies re colicky and others aren’t.

Without knowing the cause we aren’t sure how to make it stop either. If you have spent hours singing, pacing, dancing (I used to dance with my son who would sometimes quiet down with this method, at least until I stopped!), driving, crying, feeding, changing, and in all other ways trying to get through it, then you know what it is like to wish there was a way out.

Sometimes thoughts creep up, especailly after hours of hard work trying to make the crying stop to no avail. However, you have to work to combat these thoughts. One of the most common is that you are a bad mom. This thought can creep in as you aren’t making your baby happy.

It is hard to handle, but if you are trying and you care then you are a good mom. You have to remind yourself of the times when your baby isn’t crying and the love you feel then. You’re a good mom who is facing a difficult challenge! You are doing your best and that is better then many. Sure it isn’t easy, but you love your baby (especially when they aren’t crying) and you face it each day.Often times it is easy to feel alone when you are dealing with a colicky baby. Few people admit to having a colicky child because they are feeling insecure and alone too. However, you should look for others who are in the same boat as you are. Colic is something that happens to a lot of families and while it is hard to handle, you most certainly aren’t alone. You can even look for groups of moms with colicky babies online for someone to talk
to. Sometimes it is easy to feel like you are doing something wrong or that you are just nuts (”She only cries when she is alone with me!” or “Am I imagining this?”). This can be heightened by family who just doesn’t believe that your little angel is anything but, a little angel. You can get some relief. Leave the baby with the friends and family who don’t believe at the time time your baby is most colicky. Do some errands, take a break, and make it work for you. You won’t feel so alone and you will be sure to find it isn’t just you and you aren’t crazy! While colic isn’t necessarily something wrong with the baby, it sure can feel like it is and as such can make it feel like you have done something wrong.

You may blame yourself or search for something that happened during your
pregnancy or that you are doing wrong that may have “caused” this problem. While
researchers don’t know what causes colic, they do know that it isn’t you. Mom’s
everywhere may feel a little guilty, but they don’t have a right to be. There is
nothing that you could have done to make your baby colicky.

When I was eight months pregnant a very kind woman was talking to me about having the baby. She told me that at one time she was home alone and her daughter had been crying and crying. The crying had grated on her nerves and she suddenly thought about throwing her baby out of the window. She didn’t hurt her baby and felt guilty for thinking of that. When hearing this story I was appalled. I couldn’t believe that this woman was telling me this. She ended her story by telling me it was
okay if I had bad thoughts during a crying episode, as long as I didn’t act on them

In the hospital they showed a movie on shaken baby syndrome and I was amazed. How could people do that to beautiful babies? Then one day Marcus cried and cried and cried. I remembered both the story that was told to me and the shaken babies. While I could never shake a baby, any baby, I suddenly understood what prompted others to shake the babies and try and make the quiet. If you think, “I can’t take this anymore!”, if you yell at your baby, or you think bad thoughts you aren’t alone. It isn’t a good thing, but it is understandable. You should seek help if you need it (after all there are many psychological professionals who liken a colicky baby with post traumatic stress disorder). If you are thinking thoughts often, feeling like you might hurt yourself or your baby. Don’t feel ashamed to get help. However, it is fairly normal and if you just have an occasional thought just remember that you aren’t alone!Colic is a horrible thing to have to deal with. You should think ahead. After all, it isn’t going to happen forever. Over time you will find your baby outgrows the colic
and will soon become a little person, one you will probably like a lot more!

When we read a personal story, a narrative that explains one person's reaction, it can make a deeper impression than all the facts in the world: this Scientific American article helps explain why our brains value the evidence provided by compelling anecdotes over evidence produced by the scientific progress...

The reason for this cognitive disconnect is that we have evolved brains that pay
attention to anecdotes because false positives (believing there is a connection
between A and B when there is not) are usually harmless, whereas false negatives
(believing there is no connection between A and B when there is) may take you
out of the gene pool. Our brains are belief engines that employ association
learning to seek and find patterns. Superstition and belief in magic are
millions of years old, whereas science, with its methods of controlling for
intervening variables to circumvent false positives, is only a few hundred years
old.